Cerin Amroth

At bedtime Dom and Ella often have a book or two read to them on Ella’s bed before he is whisked away to his own room to go to sleep.  But right when we say it’s time for hugs and kisses for Ella he likes to curl up in a ball and say “night-night,” hoping that we’ll let him sleep with Ella in her bed that night.  And Suanna and I don’t ever have to decide whether it’s OK with us because Ella always makes it clear that he most certainly may NOT.

We read a couple books on Ella’s bed just now, the three of us, before naptime.  (Ella announced that she was tired and would be taking a nap too, a pretty rare event these days.)  As I finished the last book Ella spoke up in a spot-on imitation of my ho-boy-you-kids-are-lucky-I’m-allowing-this voice:

“All right, Dster.  For a SPECIAL TREAT you can have a nap in my bed today.”

As I stepped out they were both curled up under the sheets.  I have no idea if they will actually sleep, but I could tell from his smile that at that moment Dominic was the happiest boy in all the world.

Thirty years ago doctors wouldn’t have known to distinguish what happened to Dominic from epilepsy.  Less than a century ago the antibiotics to treat the root causes wouldn’t have been around.  And you don’t have to go too far back in time beyond that to be in a place where the prevailing opinion would have been that what was happening to him was a result of demonic possession or a curse from the gods.

There is no time I’d rather be living in than the present.

True to form, you’d never guess looking at him now that he was in the hospital a couple nights ago.  Antibiotics appear to have deep-sixed his ear infection (fingers crossed) and his fever’s pretty much gone.

The thing we have to deal with now is that, having had a couple of seizures, it’s very likely that he’ll have more between now and when he’s five years old or so.  They are in themselves benign, so the trick will be making sure that when he’s susceptible (i.e. when he’s running a fever) that he doesn’t get put in situations where a seizure could hurt him — alone in the bathtub or at the top of a slide, that sort of thing.

Hopefully we can avoid another one by responding quickly whenever he gets a fever and, if there’s a clear root cause like an ear infection, get him treatment for that right away.  But this last time we had done that and were doing everything we could possibly do for him and a seizure happened anyway.  It’s something we’ll have to live with for a few more years.

Ella took far more comfort from the facts on the ground than she did from our words — seeing Dominic the next day in perfectly good spirits did a lot to allay her worries.  I talked to her about the fact that it would all probably happen again some time, and that that was OK because the seizures don’t hurt him.  She was greatly reassured by the fact that she was already 5 and so they weren’t going to happen to her.

Assuming the next one runs the same course as the previous two, we don’t really need to be taking him to the ER.  Which only brings darkly comical scenes to my mind:  Us at some neighborhood BBQ, Dominic suddenly thrashing around and foaming at the mouth.  Flabbergasted friends:  ”Don’t you want to call 911?”  Me and Suanna, nonchalantly:  ”Nope, he’s good, we’ll just plop him in this chair over here ’till he comes to his senses.”

A febrile seizure is not as scary the second time around.  I would prefer to be a parent who didn’t know that firsthand.

Twenty minutes or so after Suanna wrote the previous entry, we thought we were out of the woods — D was coming due for another helping of Ibuprofen and the shivers had stopped and he had the antibiotics in his system and his fever, while there, seemed down.  But while Suanna was in the kitchen getting bedtime milk ready with Dominic in her arms, he had his second febrile seizure.

I had not seen the actual seizure the last time — I had arrived perhaps in its last moment, or in the aftermath.  This time, knowing what it was, it was not as soul-wrenchingly terrifying as I’m sure it would have been to someone who didn’t know what was going on.  The main thing I was aware of at the time was that Ella was there, watching the whole thing, and at the same time I was calling for an ambulance yet again I was trying to see what was going on through her eyes and was thinking of what to say to her, and when.

Suanna and D are the hospital now and hopefully all will be well.  He recovered quickly from the last one and the cause of the fever this time (i.e. the ear infection mentioned in Suanna’s post) is pretty well established.  In my frenetic re-reading of online information on febrile seizures I noticed one article say that they can occur as a fever is rising but also as it is falling, and that would definitely mesh with Dominic’s experience today.

I sat down with Ella after the ambulance drove away and reviewed what had happened and why.  She listened carefully but was eager to talk about other things — like our experience playing Lego Batman earlier.  We had finished off a book the last time I had put her to bed, so she told me I could pick one out for tonight.  Briefly scanning her shelf, my eyes landed on Mrs. Frisbee and the Rats of NIMH, which I remembered loving as a kid though I thought it might be a little old for her.  ”Let’s at least try one chapter,” I said to her, and she agreed.

In the first chapter, Mrs. Frisbee’s son Timothy becomes very ill.  I hadn’t remembered this part exactly — it had been something a little shy of 30 years since the book had been read to me — but it started coming back to me as I read.  ”Kind of like Dominic,” I said to Ella, and she nodded.  The next page had a description of Timothy’s illness that was just eerie:  high fever, constant shivering, and then some twitching, all just like D.  Needless to say, she opted for lighter fare to close out her evening, rather than Chapter Two.  But it left me wondering:  did some unconscious part of my mind remember those very words when I picked that particular book off the shelf?

Just heard from Suanna.  Dominic is sleeping.  They’re going to give him antibiotics through an IV to take on the ear infection, which I imagine is something like calling in orbital bombardment on the neighborhood bully.  They want to see him wake up naturally from sleep and observe him to make sure everything’s all right, which unfortunately means Suanna may be stuck there for a while.  She’ll try to get some sleep there, and I’ll try to get some here.  If it’s anything like the last time this means that while we’re stumbling around bleary-eyed tomorrow morning D will be chipper as can be.

I’m going to preempt any possible claims by Nate with this post. He’s such a masterful writer, I’m worried that he might just be able to convince you that our doctor’s office told him to play X-Box for Dom’s health.

We found out today that Dom has ear infections in both ears. He’s had on and off fevers for the past week, but when we took him in a week ago there was no apparent infection in his ears, his lungs were clear, and he didn’t have strep throat. Yesterday afternoon (while I was still in Michigan with the kids), he woke up from his nap crying and burning up. His behavior was consistent with what it had been, so I gave him some pain reliever, and we headed to the airport. At a few points on the ride there, he was crying and inconsoable in a way I had not seen him since he had strep last year. On the whole, however, we could distract or quiet him with books or food.

When we got on the first airplane, he refused to leave my lap to sit on the seat. He fell asleep for most of the ride. When we landed in Detroit, he wasn’t complaining and showed interest in drinking and eating, so I thought he might be feeling better. Ella even convinced him to play with toy dinosaurs. Halfway through the plane trip, he became restless and inconsolable again, until I quieted him to sleep. By the time we got home, he was burning up and clearly not himself again. Enough time had passed, so we gave him some pain reliever and he slept for most of the night.

The whole process started again today after his nap. Only this time, he was also pulling on his ears. That turned out to be the missing link. Nate convinced the doctor’s office to sqeeze him in for an appointment and received the ear infection diagnosis.

Dominic spiked a fever again when Nate got home after picking up the prescription, so he called the doctor’s office again. They said to give him a different pain reliever and the antibiotic as soon as possible and do something to distract him from the pain … hence the X-Box. I grabbed a cab to get the prescription and rushed home from work. I was surprised to see Dom sitting quietly on the couch entranced by the new game. At least we finally have a diagnosis and can hopefully put the fevers behind us … this particular string of them, anyway.

“At our house we open cans. We have to open many cans. And that is why we have a Zans.
A Zans for cans is very good. Have you a Zans for cans? You should.”
- Dr. Seuss

On Wednesday, Ella, Dom, and I traveled to Michigan by plane. I had a work meeting in Ann Arbor on Thursday, so we decided to take advantage of the proximity and see family for the weekend. Nate elected to enjoy a child-free weekend. The last time I traveled alone with the kids, we went to Canada to see friends. Ella was 3 and a half, and Dominic was just a few months. Then it was also challenging, but at least Dom wasn’t able to run off, and Ella was content to ride in the stroller. With two kids on the go, I suspected it might be a bit more challenging, but that was before I realized what a good helper Ella would be … actually, not just a helper, but a partner.

She not only managed to carry and keep track of her bag the entire trip, but she also carried the diaper bag at some points. When we checked the suitcases in with the sky cap, she grabbed the diaper bag and slung it around her neck and shoulder. When we were going through security, she insisted on being in charge of pushing our containers along the track and into the x-ray machine. She stepped through the scanner on her own, and then walked over to start taking things out of the container. She was very concerned about helping Dom with his shoes – even before she had hers taken care of.

While we were sitting on the plane waiting to take off, Dominic started barking like a dog. Ella looked at me and said, “Mom, I don’t think he should do that. The people will think there is a dog on the plane.” She turned to him and said, “Dom, don’t speak that language. People will think there is a dog on the plane.”

The amazing part about the whole experience is that she didn’t do it in a bossy or know-it-all sort of way. It was pretty clear that she wanted to do what she could and help me out with Dominic. It also helped that we were going somewhere she was very eager to be going, so she wanted to get there as quickly and smoothly as possible. And not only was she a great help and good traveler, she was also a good conversationalist. It makes me delighted to think that we’ll have many more years of fun travel ahead of us.

After more than a week of rain every day, we had a sunny weekend and plenty of ways to enjoy it. On Friday night, Nate went to see the Star Trek movie, so the kids and I had the evening to ourselves. I ordered a pizza for pick-up, and we played in the front yard before walking to get it. Two of the neighbor kids – whom Ella and Dom have not played with yet – were out on their bikes and stopped by. Dom was being clingy to me because he wasn’t feeling well. I was encouraging Ella to go over to say hi, but she was reluctant to go on her own. So I walked over to the sidewalk with them to say hello. The little girl (who is 9 months younger than Ella and very outgoing) immediately wanted to play with Ella. Her brother was a little more reserved, but soon Ella was playing with both of them and thoroughly enjoying herself.

Their mother came over, and the two of us talked for quite a while. I was holding Dom most of the time, so he would occasionally say “Mom, Mom,” grab my chin, and pull my face to look at him. It was great to get to know the mother and learn about the other two kids. Ella and the girl will both be going to kindergarten in the fall, but at different schools. The mother is from Mexico, and she has taught the kids Spanish. This will be very helpful if Ella gets into the Spanish imersion class. The mother and I began to conspire about opportunities the kids could have to play together. We thought the girls would be a good influence on each other because they have different interests, but seemed eager to play together. It felt great to be out on a nice night and enjoying good conversation with neighbors.

After picking up the toys, I loaded the kids in the wagon to walk to the pizza place. Ella thoroughly surprised me by saying hello to all the people we passed. I told her I was very impressed by how friendly she was and that people just love it when kids say hi to them. It also reminded me why we like our neighborhood so much. Not only can we walk to good restaurants and shops, but there is also a wide diversity of people and friendly neighbors.

Today was another lovely day. My special treat for Mother’s Day was getting to sleep in, which was delightful. Ella and I went to church alone because Dom still wasn’t 100%. We had nice conversation on the way to church, and I was so happy that she was eager to go to Sunday school. I have been taking a class to learn how to teach in our Sunday school program (Catechesis of the Good Shepherd). The experience has enabled me to talk more specifically with her about what she is learning, rather than getting little response to the “What did you do today in Sunday School” question.

After lunch, Ella and I transplanted her sprouting beans into the frontyard garden. I dug the holes with my fingers, and she carefully put the roots in and patted the dirt around the plants. She proudly told me that she learned how to do that by watching it on TV.

This evening, I took the kids to Target. We were looking for summer PJs for Ella. She walked right past the girls’ rack to the rack with the Cars and super hero sets. Although they weren’t what I would have chosen, I was glad that she knew exactly what she wanted and was very excited about it. To my surprise, she said she would wear a green tank-top with flowers on it. The purple one was out of the question, though.

We went to the sunglasses after that. They are doing some remodeling in Target, so I couldn’t find the display at first. Then Dom said, “oh, here they are” and directed us straight to them. It didn’t take Ella long to find the Hotwheels pair that she wanted. She had a momentary crisis of indecision when she saw the Spiderman ones, but the flames running down the sides of the Hotwheels ones sealed the deal. Dom was very interested in the Thomas the Train pair. Ella helped me choose mine. She thought the big ones were the most “beautiful.” As I was gathering things up to take the cash register, I noticed that Dom discarded the Thomas glasses in favor of pink Disney princess glasses. I asked if that’s what he wanted, and he insisted “yes.” Well, if Ella can have the Hotwheels glasses … no, I couldn’t go quite that far. I convinced him that Thomas was better.

As I was loading the kids back into the car, I marveled at how blessed I am. I love being with my kids, and I am so grateful that they’re healthy, happy, and confident about who they are and what they like. For me, the joy of being a mom isn’t in the lessons taught or directions given, but in playing whatever part I can in helping my kids marvel at the world around them and figure out how they fit in, who they are, what they like, and what they believe.

It’s been a while since the last picture dump. If you were wondering what Dominic playing horsey looks like, here’s a shot of him and Ella. There are also pictures from a friend’s birthday party on the hottest day of 2009. Pictures from Free Comic Book Day – which Ella enjoyed in person with Nate and Dom enjoyed vicariously by perusing the stash. A picture from Ella’s last coop kid day earlier this week. And a picture of playing outside with boxes – a classic activity, thanks to visits to Costco.