Cerin Amroth

We took a tour of the hospital maternity department last night. Ella was very curious about everything. We told her about the tour earlier in the day, and we had to keep clarifying that her little brother wasn’t going to “pop out” (her words) while we were there. She talked about how excited she is to meet her little brother and give him a hug. Needless to say, I cannot wait to see how this all turns out.

Fortunately, one of the new parents agreed to show us his new baby, so Ella got to see just how small newborns are. Hopefully, that will help dispel some of her expectations that he’ll be walking and ready to play with her right away.

I was surprised how much Ella talked during the tour. I expected that she’d be quiet the whole time, but she kept asking Nate and me questions. She didn’t talk to any of the other people, though. The tour ended in a room with tables and chairs in a hollow square. We sat and listened while people asked the nurse midwife questions. Ella got bored pretty quickly and started asking (numerous times and in a non-whisper voice) if we could go home.

Then, she climbed off Nate’s lap and went underneath the tables. She reappeared in the middle of the hollow square and started to pretend she was a clerk in the button section at G-Street Fabrics. (This one takes a little explaining. She and Nate went to G-Street recently for me to get some buttons for a sweater I made for a friend’s baby.) Ella pointed at the drawers of buttons behind her and asked what kind of buttons we wanted. She passed the buttons to us and asked for money. I’m not sure how many of the other 16 or so people understood what she was doing, but it was certainly getting harder for everyone to pay attention to the nurse midwife. Fortunately, everyone seemed to be done with questions, so it was a natural stopping point for the discussion.

In the car on the way home, I commented to Nate that I couldn’t believe how talkative Ella was during the tour. He said it was probably because she was so tired and not quite herself. Whatever the reason, it seems that she has caught a bit of the performing bug from one or both of her parents … I’m not saying which.

“432″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella432.jpg — Ella reading one of her “Owly”:http://www.andyrunton.com/ books with Papa.
“433″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella433.jpg — Outside with Nana and her new scooter. Ella doesn’t actually ride the scooter a whole lot, but whenever anyone asks she says she rides it outside all the time.
“434″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella434.jpg — Investigating Daddy’s birthday present. Ella is not yet sophisticated enough to appreciate the advantages of a conical burr pass-through coffee grinder, but she does know that I like coffee a lot.
“435″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella435.jpg — Ella and Mama at a Halloween party. Despite my long-term propaganda campaign, she never agreed to dress up as “Kiki”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kiki%27s_Delivery_Service, and last-minute cat-costume shopping proved unfruitful, so she was a butterfly whose antenna didn’t quite fit. But she still had a grand time.
“436″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella436.jpg — The speed with which Ella has become computer-proficient is impressive and sometimes downright frightening. She’s comfortable with the touchpad, and can even drag-and-drop, and enjoys double-clicking on various icons just to see where they lead. The other day I found her casually perusing a PDF from one of my roleplaying game folders, scrolling down using the arrow keys, which I’m pretty sure I never taught her.
“437″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella437.jpg — Shady Ella with Mama and Aunt Becky.
“438″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella438.jpg — On the seesaw with Uncle Adrian. I thought seesaws were extinct, but this is apparently a new child-safer version.
“439″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella439.jpg — Ella has been reviving her friendship with Griffin of late. Her she is with Griffin, Yellow Guy, and The Alligator We Found on the Ground.
“440″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella440.jpg — Reading with Godfather Joe on Thanksgiving.
“441″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella441.jpg — Cheese smiling by the Christmas tree . . .
“442″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella442.jpg — . . . and helping Mama with the ornaments.

Thanks to the creeping iconography of the season, and a role in a smattering of her books, Santa Claus has firmly entered Ella’s consciousness. We’re not making any attempt to encourage this, or to treat Santa as anything other than make-believe, but that hasn’t slowed her enthusiasm.

Today, she spotted Santa Claus up in the sky while we were playing on the bed, and then, suddenly but predictably, she said, “Daddy! _You’re_ Santa Claus!”

“Ho ho ho!” I said. “Here! I brought you a present!”

“And here’s a present for _you_, Santa Claus!” she replied.

“Thank you!” I said, and eagerly opened my pretend present. “Ooooo. What is this that you got me?”

“It’s a violin!” she said happily. Then she opened her present. “Ooooo, Santa, what is it?”

“It’s . . . um . . . a beautiful necklace!”

But that did not fly.

“Here Santa!” she said. “The necklace is for you. Oh! And look what you got for _me_! An alien! With one eye!”

“That barrette doesn’t match my naked baby.” — It’s a constant battle with Ella to keep her hair out of her face. Because we haven’t cut her hair yet and because she hates to wear barrettes, she’s developed the tick of cocking her head back and brushing her hair out of her face with her right hand. We’ve bought untold varieties of barrettes, but many of them don’t stay in well because her hair is so fine. This morning, I wrestled her on the couch to put a barrette in and had to listen to tears for several minutes, while preventing her taking it out immediately. Finally, I was able to distract her with toys, and she forgot about the offending hair ornament. Not half an hour later, (just long enough for me to forget about it) she grabbed the barrette and pulled it out. Then came the phrase, “That barrette doesn’t match my naked baby.” Translation – I’m only wearing my diaper right now, and the barrette doesn’t match my skin. She had a good point … little does she know that I chose that barrette because I already picked the clothes I’m going to have to wrestle on her later.

“Map ball” — On one of my business trips, I brought back an inflatable globe for Ella. I’m horrible at geography, so it was my attempt to help ensure that Ella would learn about where things are in the world — even if only by osmosis. After playing with it for some time, she came up with the name map ball. I think the influence is mainly learning about maps from Dora the Explorer. Whatever the reason, anyone who knows Ella’s dad even slightly will know how proud that name made him.

“There’s no door in my tummy.” — Ella was eating strawberries as dessert after dinner. Nate kept threatening to steal a strawberry, so Ella grabbed the last two out of the bowl and quickly stuffed them in her mouth. Nate told her that he’d have to grab them out of her tummy. She wasn’t daunted by this threat. She quickly came back with, “There’s no door in my tummy, Daddy.”

Ella approaches while I’m at the computer desk and plops her little blue chair down next to me.

“Daddy! I think this may be the _perfect_ way to get up on your lap!”

This past Sunday, Nate and I decided to take Ella to the church service with us, rather than leave her in the nursery. Friends of ours were baptizing their baby, and we wanted her to see it. She was quite excited about the prospect of sitting upstairs (the nursery is in the basement) with us. It’s a testament to how much she has changed. When we first took her to the nursery, she clung to us for dear life. In the past few months, she barely notices that we leave as she dashes to the toys. Now taking her with us to the service is the thing to adjust to.

We sat in one of the first rows (our church worships in the round, or square, actually). Stupidly, we neglected to bring along any things to keep her occupied. Fortunately, our church is very good about having bags, prepared for young kids, that contain a little chalk board, crayons, and a kids bulletin. The chalk board kept her occupied practically the whole time — thank goodness she is a focused and content child! She knew that Baby Madeleine was getting baptized, so she asked several times when it was going to happen. Unfortunately, it wasn’t until after the sermon, so we had to keep reminding her to whisper.

At one point, she slid butt backwards through the back of the chair – between the seat and the back. Clearly, our chairs are not made for little people, since the back doesn’t start until shoulder level. Fortunately, the kneeling bench behind her prevented her from falling all the way to the ground, and she wasn’t traumatized enough or hurt to cry. After that, she sat on Nate’s lap for a little while, and then on my lap. This allowed each of us to focus on at least half the sermon. It’s certainly challenging to both occupy a child and try to pay attention to what’s being said.

The best part about having her there with us was explaining to her all the meaning behind the various ceremonies that occur in Episcopal services. For the baptism, our church has everyone walk over to the baptismal font and stand in a u-shape around it. Shearon Williams, our Associate Rector, asked if any children wanted to come to the front, so Nate took Ella forward. Shearon greeted Ella by name, which was really special. After the baptism, we had the passing of the peace, so we went up to Madeleine’s parents to hug them and see her. This allowed Ella and me to walk up to the baptism font and look at the water and the oil or chrism. Earlier that morning, Nate had shown her pictures from her baptism, so she was able to put everything together and understand it in the context of what happened to her a year and a half ago.

After baptism, I explained to her that we were going to go up to the altar for eucharist. I explained that we were going to have some special bread, and she would be able to drink juice from a cup. She watched as the priests held up the bread and wine and poured the juice. I told her that we were going to go up to the table to get the bread and juice. She quickly came back with, “But Mom, there aren’t any chairs around the table.” I had to admit that she had a good point. As we stood around the altar, I told her to hold out her hands for the bread. She cupped her hands together and eagerly ate the bread. She also carefully took a drink out of the cup.

After we finished, I took her downstairs to the nursery, so she could say hi to the main staff person. I’m one of the parent supervisors, and the staff needed my key, so I told them I’d have to go up to the sanctuary to get it. Ella was already engaged with the toys, so I left her there while I went to finish up the service and get my key.

When we picked her up after the service, the two staff people told us that Ella talked with them the whole time I was gone about what happened upstairs in the service. This was quite a change from her usual quiet self. Our little girl is definitely growing up!

Ella and I went trick or treating on Tuesday night with her friend Abi, his parents (one of whom is my colleague at work), his aunt, and his second cousin — yes, it takes 5 adults to help 2 kids trick or treat! Nate would have gone, as well, but he was feeling under the weather. Speaking of which, we had an amazing 70 degree night to be out on the town. Having done all my childhood trick or treating in Michigan, I was completely unfamiliar with feeling too hot in the coat I wore.

Abi, Hari, and Bela invited us to join them trick or treating in their Mount Pleasant neighborhood. It’s a very racially and economically mixed DC neighborhood, and we saw a little bit of everything. While we were still at their house, two kids came up to trick or treat. Hari opened the door to reveal two boys — one in a Jason mask and the other in a creepy rubber mask. Ella immediately cowered behind my leg and started whimpering. A few days before, she saw some masks at a store in our neighborhood and decided they were very scary. One was a skeleton, so I can’t blame her for having that reaction. I tried to tell her that they were kids in masks, so she didn’t need to be scared, but she clearly wasn’t convinced.

The first house we went to was very tame, but Ella kept asking where the people in the masks went. (This became an ongoing topic of conversation throughout the evening.) I tried to urge her to walk up to the house, but she insisted that I carry her. I complied, even though I knew it was setting a horrible precedent.

We walked for another few blocks to reach one of the side streets where there was likely to be more action. Fortunately, Ella agreed to walk. For a couple blocks, she even held Abi’s hand and seemed excited about the prospect of trick or treating. The next few houses went fine, but then we heard the loud music and spooky noises coming from the last house on the block. The house had streamers hanging in front of the door, and all the windows were dark. I told Ella we didn’t have to go up to the house, but I stopped on the sidewalk in front because Abi wanted to go up. Ella (who was in my arms again at this point) was burying her head in my neck and urging me to keep moving. There was a convenience store on the corner with its door open, and she insisted that we go inside. I didn’t think they were giving out candy, so I proposed that we wait in front for Abi and Hari to catch up. She kept saying, “No, no, no. We have to keep moving, mama.” She wouldn’t let up until we were half a block away from the house. Even then, she had her hands up at the side of her face — practically covering her eyes. She barely whispered trick or treat and thanks to the people who were standing outside with their candy bowls.

By this time, I had been carrying her for quite a distance. Fortunately, Hari asked Ella if he could hold her. I didn’t think she’d comply, but she did. After walking another block, she seemed to finally recover from the scary house and resume her interest in trick or treating.
We spent most of the evening on this amazing street (Lamont) where they were having a Halloween block party. They had blocked off the street to traffic, so there were people walking everywhere. Nearly every house was decorated and had costumed people sitting out on the steps handing out candy. Everyone was having a great time. We adults were all remarking that we had had nothing like this growing up in our respective suburbs of Chicago and Holland.

Through it all, Ella ping-ponged between enjoying herself and being completely scared. We were sometimes able to coax her to walk up to a house on her own, but a few feet later she would see a scary mask, and insist on being carried again. Trying to look at it all objectively, I could empathize with her trauma. There were bizarre people walking everywhere (many of them with very convincing masks), and I was insisting that she walk up to houses and say trick or treat to complete strangers.

After finishing both sides of Lamont, we decided to walk back home. I hoisted Ella up on my shoulders. I expected that she would object, but she seemed to like the vantage point. As soon as I I told her we were heading back to Abi’s house, she perked right up and said, “I had a great time, mama.” I couldn’t believe it! It was like all the trauma of the evening washed away, and all she could think about was getting back to play with Abi’s toys. We stayed there for dinner and, even though it was an hour past her bedtime, she played intensely and was sad to go home.

She immediately fell sound asleep in the car, but woke again when she saw Nate at home. As he changed her diaper and put on her PJs, she eagerly told him about all the events of the night. We had to read her a book and sing songs to settle her down again.

The next morning, all she could talk about was how next year she is going to take her little brother trick or treating. She insisted that he would also be scared of the house, but that she would hold his hand. I can’t wait!

Two anecdotes of privacy:

1. In the run-up to Halloween we had Ella’s butterfly wings and antennae headband around and encouraged her to try them on. She would have absolutely none of it, and steadfastly refused to let the stuff even _touch_ her. But, on a few occasions, she slipped into the bedroom when I was otherwise occupied, and I’d peek in a few minutes later and find her tentatively trying on her wings in front of the mirror. As soon as she saw me she’d toss them to the ground and run to do something else.

2. Six months ago, if I was shaving in the bathroom with the door partway open, Ella would open it all the way so she could see me. Yesterday, in the same situation, Ella poked her head in briefly, and then _closed_ the door all the way. A couple beats later it struck me that she was probably Up To Something, and sure enough I emerged in time to avert some indiscretions involving crayons and my laptop.