Cerin Amroth

I never thought it would happen this early … actually, in my wildest dreams, I hoped it would never happen. I used the veiled threat “okay, I’m leaving ….” Ella is quickly becoming an expert walker. We are very fortunate that she keeps us in her sights when we’re out and about. At home, it’s a different story.

I did a load of laundry this afternoon, so Ella accompanied my on foot to the laundry room on our floor. She happily trapsed along behind me, but decided to check things out on the way back to the apartment. She was obsessed with making sure that the door to the laundry room closed behind her, so that took a little while. Then she wanted to check out the outlet across from the elevators. Then she paused after turning the corner to make sure that the elevators were still there. Then she stopped to check out a neighbor’s paper laying in the hallway. Then she checked out the outlet just down the hall from our door.

I, of course, made a direct trip to our apartment door, so I was watching most of this from our doorway. I asked her a few times to come home. Finally, I got sick of waiting and said, “okay, I’m going inside.” I stepped into the apartment, but stayed right by the door and kept it open. After 10 seconds, I poked my head back into the hallway, and there she was just a few steps behind.

She wasn’t traumatized by it, but I felt like the boy who called wolf. Sooner or later, she’s going to figure out that I won’t actually leave her anywhere. If she figures this out before she’s 18 months, what will my next trick be? I just hope I’m not that mother in a year who’s saying, “I really mean it. I’m going to leave this time!”

Ella and I tried out Sesame Street for the first time more out of my curiosity than anything else. Other than the run-in with “Elmo”:http://www.polytropos.org/ella/archives/2005/01/elmo.html, it went pretty well. And we happen to be enjoying digital cable for the next six months, since
Comcast offered it for practically nothing, and with no obligation. The main thing we had in mind when subscribing was access to the Daily Show, of course, but Ella-wise there’s another perk: with a couple hundred channels at your fingertips, you can be pretty sure that at any moment, there’s at least _one_ channel playing Sesame Street or Mr. Rogers.

So we sit down for fifteen minutes, a couple times a day, and sample the wide world of children’s programming. Sesame Street is my definite preference, because it’s generally good stuff, and every once in a while there’s a real treat, like when Ernie started singing and dancing with the sheep he was trying to count, causing such a ruckus that Bert couldn’t sleep . . . good times. Mr. Rogers is even more captivating for Ella, though those late episodes are a bit strange — half the cast is the same as when _I_ was a kid, and while Fred himself enjoyed some gravitas in his old age, Mr. McFeely definitely looks like he should have retired from DeliveryManCorp a few years ago.

I’ll also put up with Arthur (I’m a big DW fan from the books), but I cannot abide the Berenstein Bears. I remember those books fondly enough, but something about the show rubs me the wrong way. Needless to say we steer clear of Barney. And only today did we finally encounter the Teletubbies.

All kids’ TV is pretty much mesmerizing for Ella — definitely moreso than regular old TV. But the Teletubbies are twice as mesmerizing. The effect was stark and quite startling. Usually she’ll just watch, sitting or standing quietly, and only making an exclamation when a live animal (as opposed to a cartoon or puppet) appears on the screen. But with the Teletubbies she was moving around and trying to imitate their creepy little dance almost immediately. I’m not sure I can tolerate the Teletubbies, though — that ubiquitous Infant Sun God gives me nightmares.

Ella is generally up for TV more often than I am, and our television (curse it!) can be turned on by pressing any of the buttons on the front. She knows this, so if she has a hunkering she’ll just walk up and turn it on. Therefore I’ve taken to clicking the channel down from 3 before I turn it off, so that when she turns it on, all she gets is static. But earlier today she turned it on, and then pressed the channel up button a couple of times, bringing the TV picture back on. I’m assuming that she lucked out on which button to press, because the alternative is too scary to contemplate.

Late yesterday afternoon Ella was flipping through books by her bookshelf, completely self-occupied, so I stretched out on the couch for a bit and listened to NPR. It had been a long, busy day, so I closed my eyes, y’know, for just a moment –

– and jolted them open when I realized I had drifted off. Ella was no longer by the bookshelf. “Ella!” I called, but there was no response. I sat up and looked around, but she wasn’t anywhere in view. I was about to stand up and peek in the kitchen when she came trotting around the corner from the bedroom. She had picked up one of her blankets, and walked right up and handed it to me.

“So do you think she was actually _bringing_ it to you?” Suanna asked me later. That was my first thought, but then I doubted it — goodness knows she likes to yank stuff off her clothes shelves for no reason whatsoever. Always hard to say.

But then, today, she had another such moment of . . . I dunno what to call it . . . situational apprehension. We were making our second trip of the morning down the hall to the laundry room. It’s bitterly cold outside, and the laundry room isn’t heated, so it was pretty cold in there, too. She was right behind me walking down the hall, but when I turned around at the laundry door, she wasn’t there. And she wasn’t in the hall. Just as I was getting back to the apartment door to look for her there, she came walking out — dragging her coat and hat behind her.

If she can figure that out, I’ll indulge myself and assume that she was bringing her daddy a blanket for while he was napping, too. The rate at which she’s figuring stuff out these days is astounding, like the whole thing with the TV . . . but I’ll save that for another post.

One of those little photo albums we have is partially filled with pictures from when Ella and her friend Hannah took a bath together. One of them shows Hannah looking straight at the camera with a goofy expression on her face, and next to her, Ella is standing up in the bathtub, facing the other direction. Her little baby tushie is in clear view; it’s definitely one of those save-it-for-her-graduation-party pics.

And Ella is obsessed with it. At least half a dozen times today, she’s sought me out with the little album in hand, eager to thumb through the pictures. But all she really wants is to smile impishly when the one with her tushie comes up. And she knows it’s her — I’ll say “Whose butt is _that_?” and she’ll point at herself with delight.

I guess it’s always nice to get a different perspective on yourself . . .

Ella picked up the sign for “more” a couple of weeks ago, without any warning. Suanna deserves the credit for being persistent with signs — I had written them off about a month ago, when it seemed like Ella just wasn’t interested. We’re not going whole hog by teaching her lots of them, but getting across the basic ones — hungry, thirsty, more, all done, etc. — will be a big help. Ella’s at a point now where she understands a lot but is still a long way from being able to talk, so signs give her a way to communicate.

She got a handle on “more” thanks to her cracker addiction. At first it always came when she was in her high chair, usually with plenty of uninteresting food (e.g. vegetables) in front of her. She’d point with her index finger to the palm of her opposite hand (the sign for “more”), and then point to the cupboard where she knew the crackers were. As time has gone on she’s used the sign for things other than crackers, and even in a non-food context, like when she wants one of us to read her another book. As a result of “more,” we rarely see “all done” any more, because she’s always up for another cracker.

She’s done “hungry” once or twice (pointing at her mouth), but usually just uses “more” when she wants food. “Thirsty” would be great, but she hasn’t tried that one yet. And theoretically, “diaper change” would be helpful, but so far she won’t do it preemptively — only when we _ask_ her if she needs a change. That’s usually how these things start.

It’s amazing the subtlety that can be conveyed through a simple sign. Early yesterday she wanted more raisins and I was checking my email, so she walked up right next to me, put her hand on my knee, and then very forcefully pointed at her palm. Later on, in her chair after supper, I asked her if she was “all done,” and she pointed at her palm sheepishly, with a little grin on her face, because she knew perfectly well that she had already had _plenty_ of crackers and that supper was effectively over.

“242″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella242.jpg — We don’t generally keep those sorts of magazines around at home, so the holidays are an important chance for Ella to catch up on Who’s Wearing What.
“243″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella243.jpg — Here the Bruinooge clan is demonstrating Ella’s pouty face. Ella herself is conveniently obscured by the chair back.
“244″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella244.jpg — Here’s the bizarre “Oooo!” face with the lips pulled over the teeth. Very rarely caught on film. She’s actually been doing it a little less these days.
“245″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella245.jpg — Baby. Tree.
“246″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella246.jpg — In Michigan, Ella was surrounded almost constantly by other kids. Here she learns a lesson in Cookie Protection from Anya . . .
“247″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella247.jpg — . . . and here she examines her brand new Elmo cell phone alongside her cousin, Lydia.
“248″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella248.jpg — Ella and Aunt Becky.
“249″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella249.jpg — My cousin Laura does great portrait photography. She did a shoot with my family over the holidays. Here’s Ella with Nana and Papa.
“250″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella250.jpg — Me, Ella, Suanna.
“251″:http://www.polytropos.org/mt-static/ella/ella251.jpg — And a truly amazing picture of Ella and Suanna.

I know that it’s pointless to complain about Elmo. He’s been a part of Sesame Street for almost twenty years.

But he wasn’t part of _my_ Sesame Street, dammit! That’s why I’ve always viewed him with a certain measure of disdain. I especially didn’t like the way the little red Johnny-come-lately seemed to become the spotlight for the show, eclipsing true heroes like Cookie Monster, Gordon, and Oscar the Grouch.

All of this has been academic until very recently. Ella got a Limbo Elmo for her birthday, and an Elmo cell phone for Christmas, and so the guy’s pinched, third-person, hard-to-understand voice has been filling the apartment. We’ve caught the last ten minutes of Sesame Street on a couple of occasions — the first times I’ve ever seen Elmo in action. Altogether too much of the show appears to be taken up by the “Elmo’s World” segment, whose appeal is totally lost on me. Each time it ends with Elmo banging a song on the piano — a single word, whatever the theme of that show was, to the tune of “Jingle Bells.” If Elmo himself was cute I suppose this would be cute, but he’s kind of creepy, so it’s creepy. And anyway, oughtn’t creative children’s television programming involve, y’know, _writing actual songs_?

But I may be too hasty. My Elmo exposure has only just begun, after all. So far, the nicest thing I can think of to say is this: he ain’t Barney.

I have resigned myself to being a month-by-month age-giver, at least until a year and a half. I thought it might be possible to just say “she’s a year old” now, and not worry about the specifics. But this period is one of continuing rapid change, so for those in the know (i.e. other parents) the to-the-month age does communicate quite a bit.

It’s hard to believe that one month ago Ella was a tentative walker. She is now a veritable cruiser. She prefers navigating _between_ pieces of furniture, instead of using them as props on her journey. She also prefers standing up on her own instead of bracing against something — a feat she accomplishes by virtue of an initial sumo squat. (Considering how short her legs and how huge her head is in proportion to her body, that is no mean feat of leg-strength.) She can move pretty fast, now, too. When I head into the kitchen to do some dishes, I’m used to her poking her head around the corner a minute later, having gradually bobbled her way in that direction and dealt with a couple curiosities on the way. But now, scant seconds after I’ve disappeared from sight, she’ll come booking around the corner and walk right up to me — or to the letter-magnets on the fridge, depending.

Ella’s been in a constant state of teething for over a month now, and the evidence of it is quite clear: four on the bottom, two on the top (with the other two on the cusp), _and_ two molars, top and bottom on the left. She’s a perpetual drool factory these days. It’s made her fussy from time to time, but most people continue to comment (quite rightly) at how incredibly good-natured she is on the whole. Given the teething, and her general anxiety at new places, we were worried that she was going to be a handful over the holidays in Michigan. It took her about a day at both my parents’ and Suanna’s parents’ house to get comfortable, but after that she felt right at home.

She’s been sick the past couple of days, and his hopefully pulling out of it today. Whenever teething pain or sickness are bothering her she becomes extremely clingy, especially to Suanna. If both of us are there it’s always Suanna she wants. I wonder if that’s in part because of the weaning process. She’s been only nursing at bedtime for a couple months, and over the holidays she stopped altogether — and doesn’t seem to miss it specifically, but maybe there’s some residual, unspecified desire there that has her holding on to Mama whenever she can.

“Da” and “Mama” are clearer as words now. Everything else is highly ambiguous, but I _think_ she’s pretty good at saying her name (“Ewwa”). Never in reference to _herself_ though — mainly to get the attention of other people. If Suanna goes to the other room, Ella will trot after her and holler “Ewwa!” as if she’s announcing her impending arrival. She’s also hit upon the word “apple” (“apouw”), though only in direction imitation of us, and not in relation to an actual piece of fruit.

Speaking of fruit, how about a “Trifecta”:http://www.polytropos.org/ella/archives/2004/12/the_trifecta.html update:

Eating: Ella’s appetite is way up from where it was a couple weeks ago, but there’s still not much budging in terms of _what_ she’ll eat. Bread has dipped slightly in the ratings in favor of crackers, which she will eat almost indefinitely. And fruit of any kind goes over well, especially bananas and oranges. Anything else — vegetables, meat, cereal, whether fresh or pureed — is a total crapshoot. Not much stress here, though, since she _is_ eating plenty and it’ll only be a matter of time before she comes around.

Drinking: At this point we’re only giving her formula because we still have a quarter can of it left. Most of the time she’s drinking milk, which she doesn’t need to be _warm_ any more, just _not cold_. And even cold she’ll drink if she’s really thirsty. No progress when it comes to milk from a sippy cup, though she is becoming adept at using a sippy cup for water. That is, she knows how to get the water _out_, but often as not she’ll let most of it dribble down her chin and chest, which she finds amusing.

Sleeping: Operation: “Ferber Method”:http://www.pregnancyweekly.com/topics/ferber_method.htm starts tomorrow. Right now she’s about as far away from independent sleeping as can be imagined. In Michigan we just let her sleep with us if she woke up at night, and she’s accustomed to having someone lay down with her at naps or before bed. So (for example) when she woke up a couple nights ago and Suanna picked her up, she pointed to our bed, which was most definitely where she wanted to go. I.e., it’s going to be a long weekend. Wish us luck.

One final note: thanks to Nana Bruinooge and her aunts, Ella’s latest addiction isn’t a toy or a book, but a song. She simply cannot get enough Itsy Bitsy Spider. I sang it to her six times in a row yesterday. It’s mostly the hand motions that have her sucked in — she loves the little thing you do with your fingers to have the spider climb up the water spout. And when you finish, she’ll jumble her fingers together to show you that she wants you to sing it again. Sometimes she’ll cock her head and smile as she does it. _You_ try saying no . . .